I told a lie yesterday**. A little one. One that will never be uncovered, one of little consequence.
Or so I tell myself.
I find I am quite adept at lying. This realization hits me hard. I have no problem with lying to preserve my “status quo”. I wonder how I got here. Maybe lying to myself for so many years has something to do with it. Maybe it comes with the territory of always answering “fine” when things are not fine. I don’t think people want my truth. I tell myself that the lie I told yesterday was told so as not to hurt this person’s feelings. Even as I told it, I knew it was a lie. But I continued anyway. The consequences have been my own. A struggle of conscience that reveals my tendency to lie.
God hates a lying tongue. Ouch.
Is there ever a good reason to lie? Didn’t Rahab lie about the spies? Didn’t the midwives lie about the Jewish boys? Weren’t they rewarded for their protection? But, their protection began with lies?? Is lying to not hurt someone’s feelings okay? Somehow I think it’s not. I suppose Rahab and those midwives had to answer for their sin, and so will I. I will have to answer for that little lie, a little typed lie in the digital age.
How many lies do I consciously and unconsciously tell in a day? I’m going to examine my lying tongue and (hopefully) turn from it. I am not optimistic. It will be hard to tell the truth, especially when it has consequences for me or hurts others. I do not want to be someone who preserves peace with lies. There is no such peace.
**If I spoke with you yesterday in person or via phone, text, email etc., I (hopefully) did not lie to you. This blog post was composed several weeks ago.**